tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5866229807446870885.comments2014-12-09T02:28:18.107-05:00Strained Relations: Parenting Troubled TeensMarcia Stein, SPHR-CA, PHRhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00837052411002977181noreply@blogger.comBlogger18125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5866229807446870885.post-46193989549654282492014-12-09T02:28:18.107-05:002014-12-09T02:28:18.107-05:00Thank you for your note. I'm so sorry to know ...Thank you for your note. I'm so sorry to know you have had to file this protective order and hope you all get the help and support you need. I hope this information helps you in this very difficult time. Marcia Stein, SPHR-CA, PHRhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00837052411002977181noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5866229807446870885.post-22259368405032955032014-12-09T01:40:10.664-05:002014-12-09T01:40:10.664-05:00Thank you. Just simply thank you. We just filed...Thank you. Just simply thank you. We just filed a protective order against our 29 yr. old son today. I dearly hope you reach that empty backpack stage. Thanks, I needed your posts!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5866229807446870885.post-79913710898631423832012-08-09T01:19:21.238-04:002012-08-09T01:19:21.238-04:00I'm very sorry to read about your daughter. I...I'm very sorry to read about your daughter. I know how terrible it feels as a parent to see your child go down the wrong path. I hope you find the help and support you need. <br /><br />If you can get to counseling, that can help. You can go to Al Anon as many people are there due to family problems, and it helps to see where you may have enabled and how good it was for you to stop.<br /><br />You have to carry on and hope she grows up soon. In the meantime, take care of yourself.Marcia Stein, SPHR-CA, PHRhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00837052411002977181noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5866229807446870885.post-12716510458561557832012-08-09T01:02:11.539-04:002012-08-09T01:02:11.539-04:00I'm going to bookmark this and read it each da...I'm going to bookmark this and read it each day to help me through this difficult time. Today I filed an emergency order of protection against my daughter. I'm physically sick about it. It had to be done, though, for my own sanity and safety. She's 18 and refuses to grow up...no job, no drivers license. She's thrown demands, insults, and punches at me for too long.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5866229807446870885.post-39427469363882731352012-01-18T01:58:11.771-05:002012-01-18T01:58:11.771-05:00WOW! Great writes. I really agree on this. The fac...WOW! Great writes. I really agree on this. The fact that I experienced being bullied by <a href="http://www.parenting-troubled-teens.org/" rel="nofollow">out of control teenagers</a>. As we all know teenagers is hot headed. Handling anger is all about empowerment, being capable of accessing the situation and making positive decisions rather than acting on impulse. Some teens were unable to handle their anger so they tend to displace it to others. Thank you so much for sharing such informative blog.How to Help Teenagershttp://www.parenting-troubled-teens.org/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5866229807446870885.post-11510589955600759702011-07-26T08:43:05.561-04:002011-07-26T08:43:05.561-04:00Well said, Marcia, and sensitively expressed. I am...Well said, Marcia, and sensitively expressed. I am putting this on my own Twitter account to help spread your words. I think you have an important message here.Pat Rocchihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07540284993301499047noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5866229807446870885.post-83321548651821890732011-05-20T11:19:44.156-04:002011-05-20T11:19:44.156-04:00Thank you so much for writing, Linda. Your insght...Thank you so much for writing, Linda. Your insghts are helpful for everyone. <br /><br />I love that thought about not setting your expectations such that others cannot meet them and you'll remove some stress and be happier with your interactions. Forgiving ourselves and others really is important.Marcia Stein, SPHR-CA, PHRhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00837052411002977181noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5866229807446870885.post-19332743156972842462011-05-20T07:17:39.981-04:002011-05-20T07:17:39.981-04:00You asked if I had any tips. I always get into tro...You asked if I had any tips. I always get into trouble when I have big expectations. After thinking about my Mother's Day this year, I think not putting so much importance on everything going perfectly as I envision it should be in my head helps. It takes the stress off my loved ones who are celebrating or not celebrating the day with me also, whether it is my stepmother or my son. <br /><br />My day wavered and where I had low expectations, like with my stepmother, I was pleasantly surprised with having a great interaction and fun and cherished time, but where I emphasized such great expectations with my son, is where I felt unexpectedly disappointed, which in hindsight was mostly my fault for trying to control things and feeling the pressure of holding them to an ideal. It could have been avoided if I stopped trying to achieve a forced ideal. In the end, all I felt was guilt for screwing up, but my son does love me and forgave me. At least he said he did. It's also important to forgive ourselves.Lindahttp://www.facebook.com/recruitergurunoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5866229807446870885.post-6857317276282871972011-05-19T23:03:03.261-04:002011-05-19T23:03:03.261-04:00Thanks, Lynn. It's taken me awhile to get to ...Thanks, Lynn. It's taken me awhile to get to that point. So easy to tell others what to do and hard to take my own advice!Marcia Stein, SPHR-CA, PHRhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00837052411002977181noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5866229807446870885.post-74913024641068306052011-05-19T22:39:33.163-04:002011-05-19T22:39:33.163-04:00I'm glad to hear that you're taking care o...I'm glad to hear that you're taking care of yourself!Lynnnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5866229807446870885.post-67485866303257438542011-02-22T20:21:36.284-05:002011-02-22T20:21:36.284-05:00Thank you for this thoughtful post, Joan. The res...Thank you for this thoughtful post, Joan. The response you created is a thoughtful and helpful response. Next week's blog post is about how to listen with empathy.Marcia Stein, SPHR-CA, PHRhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00837052411002977181noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5866229807446870885.post-84077734601362794252011-02-22T17:40:17.339-05:002011-02-22T17:40:17.339-05:00The worst responses I received in sharing difficul...The worst responses I received in sharing difficult family information was when the others responded with a highly anxious, catastrophic reaction. "OMG!! That's horrible. How can you live with that??" The best responses were ones that offered calm hope and allowed me to process the hardest parts. "Difficult, but you'll find a way through this. What is the hardest part about it for you?"Joan Druckmanhttp://www.folsom-orangevalepsychology.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5866229807446870885.post-51054557384106712372010-11-24T05:10:56.705-05:002010-11-24T05:10:56.705-05:00I really like what I read the other day on my frie...I really like what I read the other day on my friend's Facebook page: "We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us."<br /><br />This quote seemed comforting to me because being single and not from a big close family like the ones on TV as you mentioned, I sometimes do lament missing out on family festivities, but the FB sentiment made me rethink the possibilities and feel gratitude for what's in my life now and spread the word of eternal hope for what lays ahead in each of our lives.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16378974796919343687noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5866229807446870885.post-33822029373030238292010-07-07T12:09:44.894-04:002010-07-07T12:09:44.894-04:00This essay really resonated with me. It was neces...This essay really resonated with me. It was necessary to dissociate myself from my family because of my mother's continuing abuse, my father's complicity with it to avoid being a target of her abuse, and the failure of anyone in the family to stand up for my right not to be abused. If forgiveness is defined as in this essay, one could say I "forgave" my parents a long time ago. I never had ill will towards them. But I think that the concept of forgivemenss lets them off the hook too much. I think about what I could have attained professionally if I had parents who paid for my college education and contributed to my living expenses during postgraduate education, and if I had a family that was not throwing its turmoil onto me while I was in college. The damage is there every day of my life. It wasn't just the passive lack of resources. It was also deliberate destructiveness and action in opposition to my talents. And the writer is correct. There are people who are very judgmental about the issue of leaving a family and there are people who are very judgmental about the choice to be single and live alone.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5866229807446870885.post-82817709835721292092010-06-20T20:28:30.372-04:002010-06-20T20:28:30.372-04:00Thank you for writing about your dad. I love that...Thank you for writing about your dad. I love that he showed you a work ethic and family values, and what a special memory that he sang that particular song to you.Marcia Stein, SPHR-CA, PHRhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00837052411002977181noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5866229807446870885.post-16324821173989814442010-06-20T15:39:47.970-04:002010-06-20T15:39:47.970-04:00I, too, celebrate wonderful memories of being a Ci...I, too, celebrate wonderful memories of being a City Farmers Daughter. He was a Chemist by day, and involved with protecting a midwest wildlife farm on weekends. My Dad has been gone for 3 years. He was born and lived in the midwest all his life - he showed me an unique work ethic and family values. Although he didn't frequent ocean walks as I, I believe he shared this fascination with me. He used to sing 'Daddys Little Girl' to me. Thanks for letting me share.Meet Donna Whttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09713068488965696377noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5866229807446870885.post-4935860040220147212010-06-20T13:39:59.689-04:002010-06-20T13:39:59.689-04:00Thanks for your comment, Lalynni. You were lucky ...Thanks for your comment, Lalynni. You were lucky to have a dad who did show you that unconditional love. I'm glad you have good memories of him.Marcia Stein, SPHR-CA, PHRhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00837052411002977181noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5866229807446870885.post-35792109665876419692010-06-20T13:23:59.742-04:002010-06-20T13:23:59.742-04:00My Dad has been gone for almost three years. He h...My Dad has been gone for almost three years. He had the best sense of humor and was always able to find awe in the world. For example, he just loved riding the SF Cable Car. He showed me unconditional love. I miss him terribly.Lalynnihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02737425557643261919noreply@blogger.com