Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Holidays are Tough for a Lot of Families Struggling with Strained Relationships

For everyone going through the holiday season without the “normal” family, this one’s for you! This time of year is filled with possible joy and emotional pitfalls.

Many television shows, commercials and many movies celebrate the sentiment of being surrounded by a warm and loving family. We all feel things differently, and for me, the greeting card commercials with all of the images of family and love wound me. I miss our son.

I’ll watch Modern Family or some other show with people and their quirks and love, but intentionally sappy family stuff isn’t what I want to see right now. I want to protect my own emotions.

These shows and commercials shape our view of the way things are or should be, and if our own families aren’t like that, there’s something wrong with us.

I know many people with happy families that are functional, at least for the most part. Then there are all the other people I know: single, widowed or divorced, people with unhappy and strained relationships with family members, and people like me, estranged from their children. There are a lot of people who are alone, hurt, angry, afraid and worried.

Each time I read or hear about some teen or young adult who is in trouble, I think: maybe there is a heartbroken parent at home. I’m not naïve – some families have a history of violence and many repeat those patterns, but I believe that most parents want their kids to be okay in this world. We want them to be educated, have good jobs, form good relationships and make good choices. We want them to be happy and successful.

If you’re fortunate to have an intact family with good relationships, I’m very happy for you! I hope you can extend understanding and sympathy to those who don’t have this. Extend a hand, a shoulder, a tissue to someone who feels emptiness and loss, and withhold your judgment. You rarely know what’s really happening in another person’s home.

For those of us who are just getting through the holidays: hang in there, try to do things you enjoy, visit kind people, volunteer somewhere, get out of your own way and start walking toward accepting the situation and developing hope for the future.

Many people wrote to say that my book has helped them, and there are several ways you can purchase it. You can read more at www.tellmeaboutyourself.info.

If you need personal help, please review the resource page . For personal help, the United Way site links to organizations around the country. If you go to www.211.org, you just insert your zip code and find an agency near you.

Best wishes for a better future for all.

www.tellmeaboutyourself.info

1 comment:

  1. I really like what I read the other day on my friend's Facebook page: "We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us."

    This quote seemed comforting to me because being single and not from a big close family like the ones on TV as you mentioned, I sometimes do lament missing out on family festivities, but the FB sentiment made me rethink the possibilities and feel gratitude for what's in my life now and spread the word of eternal hope for what lays ahead in each of our lives.

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